How to Plan and Talk About Moving

Moving can be a major cause of stress in a person’s life. Dementia can make it difficult to adjust to a move. However, a move is sometimes needed for the person’s health and safety. You may be wondering . . .

When might a move be necessary?

Often, a person with dementia does not know a move is needed. As dementia progresses, family and friends can look for signs. It might be time for a move if they:

Have trouble doing household chores/tasks
Have challenges leaving home
Have lost friends or regular social outings
Have a caregiver who is experiencing burnout or illness
Do not have a caregiver

For more tips on choosing the right time for a move and steps to help make it easier, read this Family Caregiver Alliance article, “Residential Care Options: The Right Time”.

How to support the person with dementia

Start by being honest with the person and their family members about worries.
Be a good listener.
Talk through the difficult feelings.
Reassure the person that you are all making the best decision possible.
Communicate that they do not have to do it alone.
Talk to others who have been through this process. Check out the Dementia Society of Ottawa and Renfrew County’s Long Term Care and Retirement Home support group.
Remember to take care of yourself. For tips on adjusting to a move as a caregiver, read our Moving Adjustment For The Caregiver factsheet.

Strategies for talking about a move

Often, a person with dementia feels like they are losing control over their life. This can cause a person to become upset when thinking about moving. Here are some tips to help reassure them:

First plant the seed. Don’t approach the person as though you have already made the decision for them.
Don’t push unless you consider this an emergency. Wait for a day when you feel ready and the person seems open to planning ahead.
Use “I” statements such as “The grandchildren and I really miss you and would love if you lived closer.”
Check-in with friends of your relative. If thinking about a move to a retirement home, the person might feel better if someone they know is already living there.
Focus on the positive. For example: “This place does regular trips to the mall, and the park. You can even have your own hairdresser!”
Focus on independence. For example: “There is no yard cleanup, but flowers can be tended to. There is plenty of freedom to be alone, but company when you want it.”
Keep the person involved. Ask them to help pick out important pictures, items, furniture to bring to the new home.
Use professional connections. Ask your doctor, a senior housing advisor, or a dementia care coach for their advice and support. To connect with a dementia care coach, visit dementiahelp.ca.

Dementia Education

How to Plan and Talk About Moving