Are you communicating from a distance with a person living with dementia? It can sometimes be difficult to converse over the phone or internet. The good news is that there are ways to make communicating more positive and meaningful:
Consider the Medium
When choosing to connect by phone or internet, think about the person’s comfort with technology. Do they
usually use a phone, tablet, or computer? Do they need help setting it up? Would they enjoy using it?
Tip: What works one day may not work the next. Be ready to adapt frequently.
Consider the Purpose
Start by setting realistic expectations for your conversation. If your goal is to have a productive conversation, you
might end up feeling disappointed. If your goal is to reduce isolation or provide social stimulation, it does not
matter what you talk about. It only matters that you reach out and make the connection.
Tip: The conversation does not have to be long to be meaningful. A quick chat to check-in can make a person feel
cared for.
Consider their Perspective
Start by setting realistic expectations for your conversation. If your goal is to have a productive conversation, you
might end up feeling disappointed. If your goal is to reduce isolation or provide social stimulation, it does not
matter what you talk about. It only matters that you reach out and make the connection.
Tip: The conversation does not have to be long to be meaningful. A quick chat to check-in can make a person feel
cared for.
Consider the Activity
Introducing variety to the conversation can help you both stay engaged. Here are ideas to get you started:
Reminisce:
• You select a topic from long ago like a wedding or family pet. Ask them questions about it. The more
severe their memory impairment is, the further back you want to go. Be patient and prepared to hear the
same story again.
Play Games:
• Try a guessing game. Give them as many clues as needed.
• For example, tell them: “I’m looking at something that is black and rectangular. I can see it from my couch,
and it plays movies”
• Ask a question, and then you both answer it. For example:
• Share something you like about me.
• Tell me something you are grateful for.
Other Activities:
• Tell jokes or find interesting facts to share.
• Ask them to walk you through their favourite recipe. It does not matter if the steps are correct or if you actually do it.
• Share an experience: Read a book out loud together. Sing together. Watch the same movie.
Remember to Share the Care
• Start a calling chain: Set up a schedule for when each family member or friend will call.
• Try out a virtual senior centre, like the “Seniors Centre Without Walls” offered by the Good Companions Centre.
Find Other Ways to Connect
Some people cannot use technology or a telephone. Instead, consider these alternative ways to get connected:
• Write a letter: If they can read, a letter can be personal and special. They will be able to pick it up again and again.
• Send old memories: They may appreciate receiving old photographs. People with dementia often
remember their younger years quite well.
• Visit from a distance: Visit the person from outside a window, or from a distance outside. Try playing
music or bringing the family pet to put a smile on their face.